Stupidity.

So at my job I am responsible for the verification and inputting of new applications for life insurance. I also am responsible for assembling the printed policies/certificates for issuing and mailing to the insureds. Well, we sell our product to almost all 50 states and we have to abide by their specific state rules and regulations. On Friday, my supervisor informed us that Washington state now has, like Oregon, a "same sex domestic partner" law in effect which means we are required to allow same sex partners to be covered for our insurance products.

I remember last year when the Oregon information came in. Because it created a little bit of extra work (we were required to notify the existing insureds of the change in the law so they could add their domestic partner to their coverage, if they wished), we had to have meetings about how to approach and execute the mailings and notifications. During this process, it was discussed, as a sidenote of course, the societal meanings of this change. My main boss admitted that she didn't know why the higher ups couldn't just allow any partner and/or spouse, regardless of gender, to be included in the coverage. We'd collect that much more in premium. But it was the stigma of the thing, of course.

So, on Friday, my immediate supervisor hands my co-worker and myself an office memo explaining the Washington change. As I read on, I realized there was a catch to this situation and I was rather displeased. The memo stated that should an application or change form be received with a domestic partner listed and they are of the same sex, we will require a copy of the official form they received stating they are in a legal domestic partnership. Well, I had to ask why this was necessary. I received no answer at all.

"You do realize that this is still not moving forward in the same sex marriage movement, right? I mean, when we receive an application and it has John Smith and Jane Brown but the application is marked 'Married', we do not question the difference in names. Only if they wrote 'common-law spouse' do we require something showing they file their taxes jointly. So, why are we still making same sex partners jump through hoops to get coverage they're already legally allowed to have?" "...*shoulder shrug*..."

It was not my intent to go off on my obviously indifferent supervisor. But geez louise. Why is being socially responsible and taking care of the person you are in love with and care for an issue of paperwork? If the so-called sanctity of marriage can begin in a chapel in Las Vegas with an Elvis impersonator holding a bacon sandwich then what's wrong with two men or two women expressing their love, too? Why should heterosexual couples be the only ones to face the nasty road of an ugly divorce and child custody arguments? Yes, marriage is so holy and sacred. Let's keep others away from it.

I still personally stand by the idea that marriage licenses should be renewed on an annual basis, much like a driver's license. Each year on your wedding anniversary, you and your betrothed take a little trip to an office where you are split into one of two lines: staying married or seeking divorce. In the staying married line, you simply state that you're both happy and you get a little sticker to place on your license, kind of like getting a hole punched into a card for a free ice cream.

But for the divorce line, you step up to the little glass booth where a grumpy middle aged woman asks why you want to divorce, scrawling your answer on a carbon copy form and never looking at you. "She rides my ass about picking up my clothes and she won't have sex." "He smells like bad eggs and he pinched his secretary's ass at the office Christmas party." The office lady grunts as she stamps the marriage license "DIVORCED", you pay $35.00 and you're done. You go home, pack your shit into a U-Haul and you live out of a crummy motel room for 6 months.

I mean, sheesh! If those nasty and scummy gay people are allowed to get married, then heck, why are we allowing those colored people to be married, too? Why make it an issue of gender.. let's get race into it, too! And AND why are Jewish people allowed to take the trip down the aisle? I mean, what's up with THAT? We need to get down to fundamental basics here, people. Only a white Christian man and a white Christian woman should take God's word to heart and follow the Bible. For it is His word.

*rolls her eyes*

Seriously, the shit done in the name of the Lord astounds me. I have a cousin who is married and her husband happens to be black. They have two children. The family is divided over this "situation". My uncle, the asshole, has the loudest voice in the matter. He won't speak to my cousin, his niece. He won't even look at the children. It's pathetic. But he complains the most about it. Also, he is a deacon in his church. He spends his every waking minute praising the Lord and spreading his Good Word. Like a disease.

But, to be honest, some of the family members who support my cousin in her "choice to marry a black man" (As if on the day she decided to fall in love she was standing at the menu board at McDonald's choosing between a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder. "Does it come with fries?" "No, it comes with a black man with a big ol' dick." "I'll take two!") piss me off, too. When the subject of my cousin and her husband come up around them, they always say things like "well, he *is* a hard worker", "the children are so well behaved", "he doesn't act black!" ... what?

Who cares? What if he was beating my cousin behind closed doors? What if he was a lazy, shiftless piece of shit asshole who molested his kids? Oh, then it would be because he happened to be black? No. The majority of the women in my family have been either hit, assaulted, cheated on or murdered by white men. No one ever said "oh, it's because he's white." No, it was because he was a sack of shit. Why can't someone be responsible for their actions based on their morality, sense of responsibility and behavior? White is not always right.

So, back to my cousin, what if her kids were complete brats? What if her husband had no job whatsoever? Would the family sit idly by? If he were white and they asked for financial help from the family, I know they'd all pitch in money. However, because he happens to be black, if they asked to borrow money, I guarantee you the answer would be no. Probably followed up with a lecture. They are only tolerant of the color he happens to be because he's not done anything for them to pass judgment on and I think that's ridiculous. They should accept him, not for being some rare oddity of a "good natured" black guy, but for being a good person period, color be damned. Because, truthfully, all assholes are pink.

My children spent the better part of the last two years with their dad and his mother and her husband, his step-dad. The mother-in-law and her husband are major supporters of religion. They are upset with me for not attending church. They are angry with me because I am on the fence about God. Well, gee, excuse me for not being sure about something I can't see or touch. I see people here on this earth and I can feel their love, their happiness, their anger, their sadness. That is real to me. Telling me to act right and to behave in the eyes of God, or else he will punish me, that isn't going to work. Why can't I make the right decisions in life based on the greater good of mankind? I'd rather treat someone with kindness because it's the right thing to do than to do it just because some omnipresent being is going to smite me if I don't.

That's like being nice to your brother and sister only because you know you'll get the belt upside your ass if you don't. So, imagine my surprise when the girls come home finally and they're chatting with each other about the weather and the clouds in the sky one evening. The 7 year old said it was like in the Bible. Now, you have to know, I do not try to sway their decisions one bit because I feel they should make their own decisions. I will lead them to the various water choices but it's up to them where they want to drink, if that makes sense.

So, she's telling us about how God made the Heavens and the clouds and that one day He will open up the skies and there will be dark clouds and he will make all the "bad people go running." I had to ask about this. "What bad people? Why are they bad?" "Oh you know, Mama. All the brown people."

"...what?"

"The brown people are bad and God will punish them." "What did the brown people do?" "I don't know." It took all I had in me to not immediately call my in-laws and give them a piece of my mind. However, I thought about it a moment and I realized that even my MIL is surely not THAT ignorant. So I asked the 7 year old, "Did your grandmother tell you this?" "No, I learned it at Sunday School at church." Nice.

So, I've been working with the girls ever since to make them understand that everyone is the same, no matter what color they are, how much money they have, if they are a boy or a girl or they like boys or girls or both. I am still fighting the race issue with my own step-dad. I am battling the homosexual and bisexual issue with the STBEH (soon to be ex husband). I don't foresee much change but I am trying. I don't want my kids growing up thinking they are better than anyone else. They are special in the sense that there is no one else like them on this planet. But they are not above anyone else they will encounter in their life.

Well, now that I have vented, I feel better.

Until next time, anyway.