Ignorant.

Driving home from work the other day, I heard a commercial on the radio advertising a video program to teach toddlers to read. The narrator touted that the program was a huge success for children ages 1 year old and up. I blinked. One year old? Seriously?

I understand that children are little sponges who absorb everything. Trust me, I know this from experience. My children were recognizing letters, shapes and colors when they were very small. So yes, you could "teach" a child to recognize words.. but are they comprehending what they're reading? No, of course not. A child can learn simple words but putting them together to make a coherent thought is not going to happen. Unless your child is a true and complete genius, there's no way you can hand your child a newspaper and have them begin reading as if they're a grown, mature adult, completely understanding the tone of the article and the message being conveyed.

But the hilarity did not end there with the commercial. They had a so-called testimonial, which I am sure is just some random local voice actor who was paid for their work on the commercial, where the 'mother' excitedly agreed that not only did the program work for her 18 month old child but by 2 years old, he was reading all on his own. AND she didn't have to do a thing! "I just plopped him down in front of the video and he watched it all on his own."

Wow! What great parenting skills, Fake Mom! What message are you sending out that not only is it acceptable to let the television do the babysitting for you but that you also don't even need to bother with that pesky chore of teaching your child to read?

Alas, the fabulousness continues... "It not only worked with my 2 year old but all three of my children can read using this program." Awesome. Now we have an entire family where Mom is hiding and chain-smoking in her bedroom and Dad is out of the house pinching asses at the local tavern while the children are ignored as they run rampant all over the living room, rummaging for food in the kitchen and pooping in the corners. BUT they're learning to read!

Gee, while we're at it, let's just give them a DVD titled "Pharmaceuticals: Your One True Friend, the Anti-Depressant".

I am all for ease and convenience but something important like learning to read cannot be put through the express lane. People are just lazy these days and look for the quick fix. However, there's just no substitute for spending quality time with your children. Asking them questions, turning an ordinary situation into a learning lesson, asking how they feel. No, not every waking moment has to be spent learning. You'll burn yourself and the child out. But there's no excuse for ignoring a young learning mind, especially when it's your own child.

What is next? A DVD program that shows kids how to bathe? How to put themselves to bed? Maybe later in life there will be a Netflix online rental the previously ignored children can acquire to teach them how to put their lousy parents into a shitty abusive nursing home.

It's easy!